Two (2) years with the Xbox One – SJBMCPRS Diagnosis

Disclaimer: The following post on the SJBMCPRS Report is based primarily on my experiences with the Xbox One console and is a follow-up to the eighth (8^th) post on the SJBMCPRS Report. Therefore, the impressions and opinions are purely of my own and should not be considered as ‘definitive’ regarding the Xbox One as many people have their own opinions and have the right to express themselves. That said, this post will contain some real-world properties, as well as expressions that may be taken as offensive to people.

The moment I (the author) purchased and obtained an Xbox One console was the 21/12/2013, 14:50, in the Tesco Extra supermarket, Yeovil, Somerset, United Kingdom. It’s been two (2) years now, and on the 21/12/2015; I will share some of my experiences regarding the ongoing life cycle of the Xbox One. Considering I asked myself these questions in a previous post (where I reflected upon my first (1^st) year with the Xbox One), I will ask myself again now that I’ve had two (2) year’s experience. So without further ado:

Did it reach my expectations? Was it worth the cost? Was it ludicrous to buy at the time?

My answers to these questions are: “…it’s still not there yet, and it feels like someone has thrown a pie of dog turds to my face when I consider what I paid for the console and the games and additional accessories when I did two (2) years ago, and seeing what could’ve been had I waited two (2) years”. In a nutshell then; it was ludicrous to have gotten the Xbox One console when I did, and to have spent so much money to become an early adopter of the console.

(Record abruptly stopping sound) But then again, the same could be said for the other eighth (8^th) generation consoles when they too were new on the market then and therefore were expensive and ‘lacking’ compared to now. What is reassuring when looking at the expense of obtaining the Xbox One console when I did is that thankfully, the Xbox One didn’t stagnate and die off shortly after release like the Nintendo Virtual Boy, or flop for a year and be swept under the carpet like the Amiga CD32.

Furthermore, I can honestly say that while it still feels like I made the mistake of purchasing the Xbox One when I did, I have found much enjoyment in not only the gaming experiences but also the rejuvenation of the Xbox One as a whole following its ‘flawed’ launch. Now its true (for the most part) that the experiences with new consoles improves over time with additional games and updates; but Microsoft is unprecedented in the efforts to redeem itself and the Xbox division by making changes and upgrades during the Xbox One life cycle. I won’t go into any great length about what is now possible on the Xbox One and how it stands today in the market because there are plenty of documentations and videos to illustrate these points, however I will say the overall experience and expectations with the Xbox One are vastly improved compared to those in previous years.

Arguably the best evidence of Microsoft trying to make the Xbox One more appealing to gamers and their fans and supporters is the offering of Xbox 360 backwards compatibility on the Xbox One. When this development was unveiled at E3 2015, there was a perception that the Xbox One got a victory against it competitor: the PlayStation 4. Now that this feature is available to every Xbox One owner (with internet access and Xbox Live); that perception is more apparent (especially) in the face of Sony’s rather blatant and controversial means of retaliating (by allowing PS4 owners to PURCHASE (very few) individual PS2 games from the PlayStation Store as PS3 owners could with selective PS1 and PS2 games for a fee). Compared to the offerings on the Xbox One where it currently offers a hundred plus (100+) Xbox 360 games to be played on Xbox One either through the physical Xbox 360 game disc, or through the Xbox Store for FREE! Sony and the PlayStation variation comes across as like a downpour raining urine on gamers.

Of course the perception of how much the Xbox One has improved since its launch in 2013 is also due to the expanding library of games in 2015, and unveiling of ‘must have’ titles like Halo 5: Guardians, Rise of The Tomb Raider (which is a timed exclusive), Forza Motorsport 6, and future ‘exclusives’ to be released like ‘Gears of War 4’, ‘ReCore’, ‘Scalebound’ in 2016. Adding to this is the gradually increasing number of Xbox 360 games becoming compatible with Xbox One over the oncoming months, and it does look like the Xbox One will continue to improve with time, and gain the interest of gamers who haven’t obtained the Xbox One console yet. As for me personally, these developments are encouraging and guarantee my support for the Xbox platforms and as a gamer for years to come in spite of issues and gripes I still have.

(Record abruptly stopping sound) Now before continuing with this post, I should make it clear that this is not in any way ‘favouritism’ for the Xbox One over other platforms, or any attempt of mine to say: “F*** you PlayStation and Nintendo!”. I am well aware that during the year of 2015, both Sony and (Nintendo (albeit to a lesser extent) have made announcements and improvements to improve the service and experience of the respected platforms. The reason I am doing posts that are focused on the Xbox One is because it is the console I own, and therefore I do not have other ‘current gen’ consoles to compare or have experiences with the other platforms.

Strangely enough though, it isn’t the vast improvements or developments that has been made that make me like the Xbox One overall more now than I did when I did my first (1^st) year review of the Xbox One in 2014. Nor is it the possibilities (like original Xbox backwards compatibility, and storing music freely onto the hard drive (like one can do with the Xbox 360)) that are seemingly more probable in the light of the backwards compatibility for several Xbox 360 games. What pleases me is the fact that the Xbox One has continued to develop and progress despite the poor reception and ‘flack’ it gets ever since its initial unveiling. Given the list of commercial failures there have been (which were due to various reasons), It did occur to me that the Xbox One would be latest commercial failure and would be shunned in favour of Microsoft trying again with a completely new system. The constant shaming that is addressed at the Xbox One because “it cannot perform as well as the PS4”, or “DRM policies”, “cost”, “inferior sales” and so on would be reasons for publishers and developers to shy away and refuse to develop anything on the Xbox One, and in turn greatly hinder the platform to the point that it would only be Xbox-owned publishers and developers making content for the Xbox One and therefore replicate the mistakes of Nintendo (which still does harm the perception of Nintendo in the eyes of gamers, publishers and developers). And yet, this hasn’t been the case and I (among many) am benefitting from Microsoft’s support of the Xbox One in spite of the competitive disadvantage to the PS4 and gaming PCs, and negative reception early on. The Xbox One may not be the most powerful console, or the most popular, or offer the ‘best gaming experience’ in the eighth (8^th) generation of video game consoles, but the Xbox One had enough pros and reasons for to purchase an Xbox One console in 2013, and now in 2015; there are more pros and reasons for me to continue playing and supporting the Xbox One.

There is however one (1) development in the year of 2015 that makes me particularly infuriated with myself for purchasing an Xbox One console in 2013 (aside from the cost). The development in question is the release of the ‘Xbox One Elite’ which offers a superior one terabyte (1TB) solid-state hybrid hard drive and an Elite Wireless Controller for £400 or so. Considering when I purchased my five-hundred gigabyte (500GB) Xbox One console (with Kinect) in 2013 for £429, I nowadays kick myself for purchasing the ‘basic’ Xbox One for as much as I did, when there was a ‘better’ version of the Xbox One console in the pipeline for about the same amount of money.

“Curse my incompetence and impatience…!!”

Realistically however, if this Xbox One Elite development was such a game-changer, then I would’ve by now replaced my ‘basic’ Xbox One and purchased the Xbox One Elite. The reality is however that I have not done that, and I won’t go out to purchase the Xbox One Elite; unless for whatever reason my existing Xbox One console where to permanently imitate a dead celebrity like Richard Whiteley or Michael Jackson. The reason being is because I don’t see how ‘drastically superior’ my gaming experience would become with an Xbox One Elite compared to the experience I have currently, plus I no longer need to worry about how much hard drive space there is available after having several games installed upon the hard drive, because I can easily apply an external hard drive via the USB 3.0 ports and gain the same amount of hard drive space (and more) compared to the Xbox One Elite. While it would have been nice to have saved money getting the superior variation in 2015, as opposed to obtaining the Xbox One in 2013; it isn’t crucial for my level of gaming experience.

Now hear me out; while I am a gamer and have been from the moment I understood what I was doing when playing on a Super Nintendo (SNES), I am not ‘hard-core’ and obsessed with optimising the gaming experience with surround sound, 4K TVs, £100+ headsets and gaming chairs. I don’t mind that the Xbox One doesn’t display a game in 1080p, or if the origins of Xbox isn’t of a pure gaming company like Nintendo. I enjoy what I enjoy, and if the Xbox One can (and does) satisfy my desire to play games, or utilise apps like YouTube, Netflix, and then order a pizza through the ‘Domino’s Pizza App’ if I’m hungry; then the Xbox One is perfectly alright with me.

So what happens from here on; do more games, apps, updates and developments come along through 2016, and 2017? I do not know as I am no mind-reader and nor am I capable of predicting the future. If, however the Xbox One continues along this course of improving and expanding, then I see no reason why the Xbox One won’t gain more interest and sales in the year or so to come. All I can be (hopefully) certain is that on the 21/12/2016, I will write/type up another post reflecting on three (3) year’s experience with the Xbox One, and perhaps by that time; I will have a better comprehension of how the Xbox One truly compares and contrasts against the other eighth (8^th) generation consoles as my brothers and sister will get their hands on the Wii U and PS4 on Christmas Day 2015.

Until then, I will draw the twenty-eighth (28^th) post on the SJBMCPRS Report to a close. As usual I apologise for any offense, in spite of the disclaimer at the start of this post forewarning my intent NOT to cause offense while expressing myself. Feel free to comment or imply your own perceptions, and I will have one (1) last post uploaded and available to read before the conclusion of 2015. Until next time, see ya!                 

Deficiency in everything – SJBMCPRS Diagnosis

Disclaimer: The following post on the SJBMCPRS Report is not to be taken overly seriously, and is purposely expressive with an intent to imply the author’s perspective (which people are free to view if they choose to). However, the contents of this post will contain some real-world properties, which along with the entirety of this post may be taken as offensive to people.

Take a good look at cheese. No seriously, glance at the cheese, particularly the varieties that have internal holes (due to ripening process) such as Maasdam cheese, Leerdammer, or even the usual portrayal of cheese in cartoon such as Tom & Jerry. It doesn’t have to be real cheese (it could even be a picture found on the internet), just take the form of cheese (with internal holes) into consideration when thinking about the title of this post: ‘Deficiency in everything’. The purpose of this quick exercise is to demonstrate that there are deficiencies in everything people associate with, whether it be within the products people make or use, or us as human beings. I’m not implying that any cheese with internal holes is inferior in any regard; this is merely used to depict that there might be flaws in objects, animals and people.

(Record abruptly stopping sound) …Now just to explain my usage of words for a moment before readers think I’m biased regarding the cheeses I have and have not mentioned, or deem me a ‘racist’. The objective of this post is to use non-fictional properties to express a perception, therefore I wouldn’t need to go into extensive detail and list all the cheeses known in the world or else this post will be longer the Great Wall of China! The same can be said for my mentioning of Tom & Jerry as opposed to other cartoons, or lack of mentioning how pictures of cheese can be obtained through other medias other than television or internet. All references to non-fictional properties within this post is intentionally meant for illustrative purposes, and NOT to imply favouritism.  

The notion that everything (or anything or anyone) is ‘perfect’ is a descriptive term used where we perceive something (or someone) as absolutely faultless and will have no compromises. However, while ‘perfect’ is regarded as a definition of absoluteness like the term ‘impossible’ (for example: “it would be impossible to juggle sixty (60) brand new and functioning washing machines, and painting the Mona Lisa while at an altitude of 55,000 feet); I would argue that the term ‘perfect’ has no definable significance a la as the term ‘impossible’ (which I have commented about in previous posts on the SJBMCPRS Report). In other words, this post is to imply that nothing and no one is absolutely ‘perfect’, everything has attributes that aren’t unfailing.

Let’s take me (the author of the SJBMCPRS Report) as an example; because I thrive in mentally self-mutilating myself! No joke! I’ve mentioned in previous posts and to family, friends, colleagues, professionals and psychologists that I am a negative individual who feels incapable of belonging in a world that is alienating. Whereas there are people who will go out to the cinema on a nightly basis with friends with their membership discount cards, I am the type that will stay inside and create both fictional and expressive writing because it’s a preference of mine to do the latter. While there are attractive and right-minded people on Earth, I am hideous both physically and even more grotesque mentally. I am a being (with a s***) tonne of deficiencies and would be an ideal representative for the antithesis of someone regarded as ‘perfect’. If I were in the film universe of ‘Alien’, I would be one (1) of the six (6) failed Ripley clones in Alien Resurrection! Going back to the opening paragraph about looking at cheese; I would be a six (6) foot slab of Maasdam cheese with more holes then a skimmer found in kitchenware.

Hopefully you (the reader) would’ve got the idea; which allows me to bring up a few more examples (none of which are animal or human based). One (1) of my hobbies and favourite ways to kill time is playing video games. Now without intending to cause offense to those who may have a favourite game and would go to extreme lengths to defend their idea of an ‘impossibly perfect’ video game against critics; it is safe to say that there has never (and probably never will be) a video game that is ‘perfect’ in every single way and be regarded as ‘perfect’ by every living being that has ever lived on Earth. Even the biggest and most desirable video games of 2015 (such as Fallout 4, Metal Gear Solid V The Phantom Pain, and so on) have problems that define a form of deficient programming or practice associated and thus making an imperfect product. (check out the 2015 year review post that will come later in the month of December for more on particular video games).  

At this moment in time (December 2015) there is no 100% remedy to the countless forms of cancer, and there has been no fall-proof form of treatment that doesn’t have its risks. Radiotherapy, tablets/drugs, gene modification, herbalism, and so on aren’t the solutions to treating cancer completely as people would hope. While technology and innovations are improving the survival rates and living qualities of cancer patients, and there are means of better diagnosing cancers far better than in decades previous; we aren’t yet at the stage where cancer can be overcome without side-effects or reverse-engineered in such a way that the human immune system can actively dispel a form of cancer like it can eradicate flu symptoms.

Newspapers, boots (not the retail company), DVDs, carpet, toilets, people, the Titanic, mattresses, cats, materials, trees, weapons, hair, medicines, tins of food, ladders, tanks, mice, feet, cinema, posters, names, Hi-Fis, planets, forks, currency, environment, teeth, Facebook, envelopes, wine, seawater, smartphones, books, pens, tissues, antiperspirants, cheese, science, cameras, elements, buildings, herbicide, aeroplane, TV series, magazines, batteries, retail outlet, vehicle, support service, pavements, toothbrushes, components, paints, …clothes, …door handles, ……board games……briefcases……..spigots…! Nothing and no one on Earth is ‘perfect’. And the most fundamental reasons why nothing or no one is ‘perfect’ is because unless life and existence were to become extinct; we as beings along with animals, nature itself and living organisms will continue to evolve; creating a ‘existence’ which fluctuates along throughout the passage of time.

Take the nature of the iPhone series as an example of humanity’s seemingly never ending race for more; those who are content with the iPhone six (6) may regard this device as ‘perfect’ and the best innovation with mobile phones and entertainment and technology that is possible. The reality though is that there is a successor to this in the form of the iPhone 6S Plus, and in a few years’ time, this level of innovation and technology with the iPhone 6 generation will be surpassed by later and ‘better’ generations of the iPhone (i.e. iPhone seven (7), iPhone 7.5, 8, 9, X etc.).

The other fundamental reason that there is no such thing as ‘perfect’ other than it serving as an expression; is it there are far, far, too many variables in existence. The greatest example of this (possibly ever) is the countless variations of people there are and have been. Due to differences in variables such as environments, teachings, DNA and so on; there is no form of anything that is acceptable by everyone. A one (1) size fits all onesie will suit everyone because not only are there people who are of abnormal size, but also there are differences in tastes.

For example: there could be a survey made by OnePiece (a brand of clothing) based on the customers who purchase onesies from OnePiece; which show that 42% of customers purchase the ‘Radical Red Onesie’, 28% of customers purchase the ‘Big Bright Blue Onesie’, 36% of customers purchase the ‘Seasons Unlimited Limited Edition Onesie’, and the remaining 4% of customers purchase specialised onesies due to customers requiring tailor made to suit. The preference of a different colour is just one (1) of countless variables that would be taken into consideration as this ‘choices’ reflect the differences in people’s tastes and needs.

(Record abruptly stopping sound) …The example given above is not meant to be used literally by the brand OnePiece. While I have mentioned a legitimate clothing brand, the survey of what customers’ purchase is purely fictional and is not based on any actual data or actual products of OnePiece.

In essence; nothing is ‘perfect’ because of these reasons and many other reasons. What’s more with me (the author) taking into account how I am ‘abnormal’ compared to everyone else; people can judge themselves or others (and considering there are over seven (7) billion people all over the world, there are countless variables and opinions available that can agree and disagree what something or someone ‘perfect’).

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(Record abruptly stopping sound) …From here on, the post we reflect on some rather unpleasant aspects regarding the deficiencies in life. Be advised some aspects of this section of the post may cause offense, as I will be objectively shedding light on topics that infuriate not just me but other people.

As of the twenty-sixth (26^th) post entitled: “A world without consequences …for seven (7) days…”, I (the author) have placed a disclaimer at the top of each post to give warning of the potentially ‘controversial’ topic and use of real-life properties to readers. I have decided to incorporate a disclaimer for all future posts as I am aware that anything I provide on the SJBMCPRS Report may be offensive to readers and its contents may be deemed as insensitive, and wrongly inspiring. Therefore, the disclaimers are there to caution readers and imply that the contents on the SJBMCPRS Report is not to be taken seriously. The SJBMCPRS Report is a means where the author can express outwardly in a controlled and healthier manner as opposed to going out in public bitter and malicious because I cannot vent emotions efficiently in an antagonising and corrupting environment.

Now I haven’t been shy about my perceptions or my mentality, and I will be the first (1^st) to admit that there have been contents that may be ‘questionable’ or offensive to people regarding religious beliefs or if there are people that are associated with topics I have mentioned. While there are real-life properties and people mentioned or implied in a manner of ways (mostly morbid and horrible), it is only meant for expressive purposes, and I would not actually wish upon awful things to really happen. Given that I am tolerated the ‘Freedom of Speech’, I choose to write creatively in a manner that I will find enjoyable and purposeful, hence the (more) morbid and ‘offensive’ aspects because that’s what I like imagining and writing.          

Alas, more than ever it is apparent that in the increasingly ‘politically correct’ and sensitive culture we live in, it is PAINFULLY obvious that some people use their ‘Freedom of Speech’ to offend others or to be offended and make as much of a fuss as possible. Now while this isn’t anything new, and there are countless forms of media that laminate how damning these practises are; I am aware of how easily these problems can be prevented, and annoyed that those who don’t like specific things do not follow this tip: “Just turn it off”.

On the 13^th of September 2015; I uploaded a post entitled: “A mask concealing compulsions and limits”, where I made an off-hand but intentional remark about people having the ability to turn off the offending media. For those who missed it here it is again:

“Have you had enough of watching programs on the television or online or played a video game that you may describe as ‘eye-cancer’ and causes uncensored fury and bleeding of the ears? Are you tired of being disappointed by a form of media that has under-inflated your expectations? Then this is the solution that will put a stop to all of the misery: “Just turn it off”. That’s right; all you need to do is stop watching and interacting with the source of misery and just turn it off and do something else. It’s that straightforward! Do it now and feel better by not giving the source of your misery your precious time and making you worse off. Make more of your day and “Just turn it off”.

This was intended to illustrate a point that for those people who are offended by what they read, hear or see through forms of media (i.e. internet), they can ignore it by neglecting it. Now ignoring something doesn’t mean that whatever caused offense goes away, but by doing this people are displaying they have the sense and ability to not be consumed by their emotions, be in control and put aside the offensive and do something else with their time. On the other hand; being led by emotion because something is deemed ‘offensive’ and then making a fuss about the matter illustrates a lack of rationality and common sense.

Now I’m not implying that people who rage negatively about something are morons and that I am superior because I don’t ‘tweet’ my displeasure; I’m no different in that regard given that I shared my thoughts on matters I didn’t like such as Square Enix’s obsession with the character Lightning, and the disappointing and shallow WWE 2K15 (except I didn’t use Twitter, I used the SJBMCPRS Report instead). In that regards I’m a moron too, but while I don’t mind being called a moron or anything horrid for that matter, there are people that don’t like being called out or branded as something ‘unpleasant’. From here these offended people who don’t use common-sense and ignore the ‘offensive’ become another sheep/follower in a cult dubbed ‘Social Justice Warriors’ fighting a hopeless battle to ‘fight for a good cause’ when the world is awash with far worse going on.

I’m not trying to be mean or oppose those who believe they are rallying for change and a good cause. For example, it is worthwhile and justified to pay our respects to the people who lost their lives during the November Paris attacks, and strive for action against terrorist attacks. It’s worthwhile and justified wanting to cause greater awareness about mental health. But when people ignore their common sense and oppose something (which in the grander scheme of things going on in the world is minimal) that undermines the freedom and choices for others……it really goes to show the level of deficiency there is nowadays in people’s ability to rationalise and respect others wishes whether they agree with them or not.

I’ll refer to the topic regarding the ‘Dead Or Alive Xtreme (three) 3’ video game which has lit up a fire between the video game’s publishers, Play Asia and ‘Social Justice Warriors’, and other parties who are essentially creating censorship. I won’t dive into the matter too much because other forms of media cover this story far better then I’ll ever will (such as ReviewTechUSA, AlphaOmegaSin, IGN and so on), but essentially DOA Xtreme three (3) is not being granted passage to the West because of unfavourable backlash. Do I care for the video game? No I do not, I stick to the main ‘Dead Or Alive’ series because it’s a great handling fighting game series. I don’t care for the sex appeal; I can understand how people can be offended, but at the same time I don’t pay any attention because I have common sense and the ability to do other things. If I am asked which side of the fence, I am on then; I would side with Play Asia for opposing the ‘SJW’ by going about authorised business and allowing gamers from the Western parts of the world to import the game. Why? Because if people wish to import the video game and play it, then it is within their rights to do so and Play Asia (and I’m assuming other retailers providing imports) to provide the ability to those who want to. I have purchased games (mostly games from the ‘Corpse Party’ series) and DVDs from Play Asia before, and I will do so in the future for my importing desires because it is an online retailer that provides me the opportunities that I wouldn’t otherwise have because I live in the United Kingdom. Aside from some bias of my own there, it would be safe to assume there are many customers of Play Asia who would take offense to the ‘SJW’ and other opposition groups trying to shame Play Asia because they’re not getting their way.  Naturally some people (namely the ‘SJW’) aren’t pleased by this, nor are they pleased that they are regarded by Play Asia as nonsense. The reality however is that Play Asia are right; the ‘Social Justice Warriors’ are nonsense because they are effectively trying to stop people from having the choice (I realise I may get some hostility for this, but I choose to stick with my words).

I get it; there are understandable reasons for why something like Dead Or Alive Xtreme three (3) is opposed, and why the likes of the ‘SJW’ will want to campaign against something that depicts fictional women in bikinis and shames women’s rights and portrayal. But here’s the thing; this is NOTHING NEW! There have been numerous controversies regarding video games throughout the world such as with Left 4 Dead 2 in Australia, the absurdly violent Manhunt series, and here’s a reality check: all this controversy was in some form or another long before video games existed (including television). The ‘SJW’ and other campaign groups like this need to wake up and realise that s***** happenstances are happening to everyone (not just women) and have and alas will continue to happen throughout the world (and guess what, people are just as terrible!). That is the reality whether its accepted or not. Work to comeback real life situations, not the work of fiction that has an audience (just like there’s an audience for other offensive media).

Sure people can be offended and angered by others and by depictions of certain contents. I know there are many things that I won’t tolerate in watching or hearing, but I am wise enough to understand that while certain things aren’t for me, I can turn away and do something else and let the audience who want to indulge in whatever they like be. People are different and what appeals to some, won’t appeal to others. In the end, neither humanity or the world as we know it is ‘perfect’; it simply is what it is, and for those who can’t accept reality, I would suggest looking and understanding at their own deficiencies and go about living their lives just like everyone else is doing.

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Alright, this is where this post (no.27) concludes. I apologise for any offense, though I gave a disclaimer in advance for this very reason. Feel free to comment or imply your own perceptions. I will attempt to have two (2) more posts available to read before the end of 2015. Until next time, see ya!                 

A world without consequences …for seven (7) days… – SJBMCPRS Diagnosis

Disclaimer: The following post contains fictional elements and implies hypothetical scenarios which have the same probability of being truthful as Julius Caesar being reincarnated as a talking cucumber inside the ‘head’ of an octopus stuffed inside a jar with a lid that has been reinforced with super glue and placed in a walk-in freezer set to -24 degrees, brought on Ebay! In other words, this is not to be taken overly seriously, and is purely imaginative. That said, there are real elements mentioned as well which along with the fictional elements are being used in this post to provide a descriptive perception of the author.

Imagine a non-eventful day in existence where the realities of ‘life’ is evident, and nothing is amiss. The wind breezes by, parallel with time in a world mixed with notions of vexation and bliss. Thoughts of the countless variety dawn minute by minute that range from the priorities at hand, to the spontaneous kind like thinking of the Swiss. It may be deemed as mundane, but at least it’s not the abyss.

(Record abruptly stopping sound) …Wait a minute, did I just come up with a paragraph with poetic qualities? (The anonymous audience reach an audible agreement that thinks there was rhythmical composition.) …Well shiver my timbers and break my fingers! I guess I did, though it wasn’t intentional. 

…Ahem ...getting back to the fictional prologue…

Then out of the blue, “kimi he” from the Final Fantasy X-2 Vocal Collection: Yuna (from the three (3) minute, thirty (30) seconds mark) plays on the mobile phone for forty-nine (49) seconds while the mobile phone itself vibrates. Someone is ringing my phone (and yes I do use “kimi he” as a forty-nine (49) second ringtone for my mobile phone). I look at the number calling, and it reads: 01305 4522912 (this is a fictional phone number and therefore not intended to be called in real life, though I apologise should this number be actually legit and caused unintentional inconvenience). I answer it…

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Seven (7) days!”

Me: “Seven (7) days…? Oh my chipmunks! I’m going to die next Monday?!”

Caller: “Yes...”

Me: “…!”

Caller: “No, wait. You needed to watch a videotape first for that. This is an offer for “no consequence” freedom for seven (7) days for every year from now.”

Me: “So seven (7) days to this very hour… My watch broke when I ran over Michael Bay and David Cameron with the tractor when I came in, how am I going to know the exact hour?”

Caller: “Forget hours. This day, seven (7) days from now.”

Me: “So I am getting seven (7) days from this very moment of “no consequence” freedom, and the same amount of days every year subsequently…?”

Now there are numerous points to this very hypothetical and fictional happenstance to address, such as the reference/parody of the films: ‘The Ring’ from 2002, and ‘Scary Movie 3’ from 2003. In case you (the reader) are wondering; I do not have a tractor, therefore I couldn’t have run over Michael Bay and David Cameron…which is a tragedy because there are people out there that would like that to happen, and I would prefer having less inaccurate and OTT (over the top) films such as ‘Pearl Harbour’ and yet another ‘Transformers’ film, as well as one (1) less politician making mess of the world (That said, I am not condemning those who do not like the implication of the execution of both Michael Bay and David Cameron, or those who agree with the productions and views of these people, it is simply my opinion).

Now for those who can decipher the implied number mentioned above; you may question the legitimacy of a caller whose number is 01305 DEVIL. For those knowing the numbered sequence of the alphabet; D is the fourth (4^th) letter in the alphabet, hence D=4. E is the fifth (5^th) letter in the alphabet, hence E=5, V=22, I=9, and L=12. Supposing the caller isn’t a prankster, and it actually happens to be the devil (or a devil) calling me and offering this opportunity, it would be wise to be sceptical given the countless perceptions that label the devil (or devils) as evil and associated with Hell and so on. Therefore, I will list the terms and conditions below:

1.      In the period of the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom; the individual will be completely alone on Earth, and no other people or creatures will be present throughout the duration.

2.     There will be no form of observation such as CCTV for the duration of event upon initialisation.

3.     The individual cannot call anyone or invite anyone during the event.

4.     There are no consequences for anything or any action during the seven (7) days upon initialisation.

5.     All roads will be cleared of traffic during event.

6.     After the seven (7) days are up/over; the individual returns to the Earth’s previous state with people and happenstances as well as consequences returning and proceeding with ‘life’ as if unaltered.

7.      The individual may not be allowed to record or in any way capture footage during the event.

8.     Actions that may take place during the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom, will have real life affects once the period is over. Therefore, it would be advised to prevent committing actions that may be deemed illegal and may be traced back to you once the event concludes.

9.     After the first (1^st) seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom is fulfilled, the individual may choose when to initiate the event in the follow years.

10.  Informing or sharing experiences of said event with other people is prohibited at all times.

11.   Forgoing the terms and conditions of the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom will cause immediate cancellation of event and ban the individual from the privilege for life.

Reading and understanding the terms and conditions of this happenstance; would you (the reader) agree and proceed with this scheme, or would you decline the offer altogether and go about ‘life’ as it is? For those who wouldn’t take up the offer; I can perceive the reasons why because there are numerous, and part of me would believe that this is a hoax and too out of blue to comprehend and unrealistic having gone from living the way I do, to suddenly have the opportunity to disconnect from the numerous attributes that I don’t agree with. With that said however, I would accept this opportunity to disconnect from the majority of the world’s annoyances and barriers.

Why? The reason I would commit to an opportunity like this (which is sadly about as real as a human being transforming into a dinosaur-like monstrosity transforming back to human form to then transform into a ginormous insect-like monstrosity all because of some kind of injected virus (‘Resident Evil 6’ reference)) is because while I am capable of tolerating the many annoyances I encounter to achieve something like walking a far bit or purchasing my typical weekly shopping in a supermarket where people and trollies generally get in the way, I’d be lying if I said there are attributes associated with these activities that don’t unease me.

I would very much like to walk far further than I’ve ever done before to reach places like Southampton or London, the problem however is that while it is possible to do, I know of only one (1) route to do so and that’s via the A352 and A31 (and subsequent linking roads) which have easy enough to read road signs of which I’ve seen enough times during car journeys to recognise; but has constant traffic and is considered perilous and prohibited. While I am okay with reading instructions that evade the main roads and is deemed “safer”; I would generally get lost in unfamiliar and more challenging terrain such as the New Forest National Park, whereas with the main roads it is more straightforward. Plus, there are people like family that would worry and would in some way get involved whether it be unintentionally due to the Police being called in to tell me I cannot do this and “health and safety reasons” blah, blah, blah!

There are things such as going to the gym or going swimming that I would love to do at my own pace, but always I feel overwhelmingly demoralised and pressured by the presence of other people in the same environment to do in life. Call me a 6”0’ panicky lump of chickens***, but seriously people in general and even their mere presence is a problem for me. I am the type of being that doesn’t need (or want) to be social. If one (1) day the whole world suddenly became ‘The Walking Dead’ for real, and everyone else was a walking corpse; I would be more comfortable in a world gone to s***! As mentioned in a previous post entitled: ‘Aspiring for the insurmountable’. If I were entrapped in the hellish nexus known as Heavenly Host Elementary for the rest of time, I would at least feel more content reliving my death forevermore then trying to ‘co-exist’ in the living world that terrifies and alienates me than anything else.

Now as with the disclaimer at the top of this post; I must stress that this is purely fantasy and has the same chance of becoming a reality as a Chrysler PT Cruiser Cabriolet and a SsangYong Rodius (first (1^st) generation) coming together to perform a ‘Mortal Kombat’ style fatality on Tommy Wiseau by sneezing out all the elephants shown in the “Pink Elephants on Parade” segment in ‘Dumbo’ and combining them to make a consumable pill that dissolves in Wiseau’s stomach to reveal a life-size pillar box stuffed with hydrofluoric acid!! …A little OTT (over the top) perhaps, but the point is clear; the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom event is unlikely to become a reality because it is total bulls***.

For the sake of this post however, let’s ignore the reality vs fantasy aspect and think what would you do with the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom privilege? For me I would happily start walking to Southampton along the empty and clear motorway roads at my own pace without any concern and sentimentalise the baffling state of having fifty (50) plus miles of large empty roads all to myself while appreciating the over eighteen (18) hour journey is helping me lose weight. Then at Southampton, I can go on a shopping spree like no other and hunt for the attire I’ve longed for since 2002; a long black all weather coat, black formal trousers, a white formal shirt and blue tie, sunglasses, and yellow all-purpose gloves that aren’t marigold gloves (sounds bizarre I know but I’ve always felt the need to come across as imposing yet different so no one would impose my path). …And if I can’t find the things I’m looking for in Southampton; I could always obtain a car (like a BMW Z4 (E89) free for me to take and head for London or any part of the United Kingdom I choose to explore.

Aside from going grand theft auto (which I would ensure wouldn’t be deemed illegal after the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom is over because I would make it look like I paid for everything with proofs and receipts even though I didn’t pay anything!); there are several interests I would like to follow through with, such as being free to attend a gym and swimming pool, and do as much as I want, when I want without the presence of anyone intruding.

Having visited the RAF Museum Cosford in Shropshire earlier in the year (2015) and laid my eyes on the de Havilland Comet 1 G-APAS (and among other things), I would enjoy the opportunity to freely explore and stare at the displays for as long as I want without the obstruction or noise of other people. I may even try to take a look inside the fuselage of the de Havilland Comet purely because there are few early generation Comets that are complete, and it would be interesting to see the contrast and difference between the Comet 1 and a modern jumbo jet such as an Airbus A380. 

While on the subject of aeroplanes, one (1) place I would absolutely love to explore freely with no repercussions is Heathrow Airport. Why you might ask? My reasons for exploring Heathrow Airport when there’s no one around and nothing happening during this duration of the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom is to allow myself to deconstruct from the hassle and uneasiness of being a waiting passenger along with my family over eleven (11) years ago, and see the airport for what it is when there’s no hassle and no restrictions to where I may go. I would enjoy the presence of such aircraft like an Airbus A380 as I would stand in front of the colossal machines, and then explore further inside the fuselage and innards of a modern aircraft and be in awe of the magnitude inside and out. Additionally, I would like to gaze upon the Concorde; the second (2^nd) supersonic passenger jet airliner (the first (1^st) being the Tupolev Tu-144). Just to clarify; I wouldn’t attempt to fly or interact with anything with any of the aircraft or within Heathrow Airport because it wouldn’t be my intention.

With the time remaining in the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom privilege, I would attempt to maximise on how far and how much I walk, as well as take in the quietness and equanimity of my surroundings as nothing other than myself wonder peacefully until the privilege ends and the world and life goes back to its processes as if nothing happened.

…That is until the first (1^st) week of April 2016! This is where I would choose to have my seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom for 2016, and I would ensure that I would be in America to relish on the offerings of one of the largest countries in the world. To start of I would like to experience the high humidity during a long trek across states like Miami, Florida. Similar to the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom of 2015, I would acquire a car (the Lexus LFA would be nice) to help me get to the numerous destinations I would like to explore.

One (1) of the destinations is the Six Flags New Orleans theme park, which is an abandoned amusement park that closed in August 21^st, 2005 in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Ten (10) years have passed since the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, yet still the disrepair of Six Flags New Orleans is evident and it has been left in its state of ruin due to sheer enormity and prohibitive cost of rebuilding or replacing the site would be financially damming. To stand in the midst of the ruins in silence, to gaze from one (1) end to another, and to visualise the site and compare the first (1^st) hand impression to the pictures available on the internet would be chilling, but also fulfilling.

There is another destination of harrowing significance that I would wish to explore, and that is the stored wreckage and reconstructed frame of TWA Flight 800, in Loudoun County, Virginia. On July 17^th, 1996; a Boeing 747-131 suffered an explosion and crashed over the Moriches Inlet killing all 230 passengers and crew. It is considered one (1) of the deadliest aviation accidents in U.S territory, and while the TWA Flight 800 International Memorial in Smith Point County Park in Shirley, New York is equally important to visit and pay respects to, it is the wreckage of the aircraft that would imply the most chilling insight as it purposely stored for training purposes. To stare at the wreckage and use the imagination to picture the rest of the aircraft inside and out from the moment it was stationary at John F. Kennedy International Airport, to the point of disaster at many thousands of feet…would be insightfully soul crushing to say the least.

Come April third (3^rd) of 2016, the WWE will host the thirty-second (32^nd) annual WrestleMania event at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas. As a fan, it would sound pretty reasonable to assume that I would adore the chance to watch a WWE event in person. And yet the idea of doing so absolutely repulses me due to the immense number of people that would be present and the deafening noise of the attending audience. For the actual event, I will watch it on the WWE Network, but in a fantasy setting where I can sit by myself in the stadium all setup for the event and explore freely and experience the visual style, sounds and presentation of the stage of itself from any seat and angle, is something so intriguing that I would want to be there for an entire day taking in the unspoilt impression. It may sound weird but while I enjoy the wrestling, the plots behind the drama and stories and antics that goes on in the WWE, what sets me up for an event like WrestleMania is the “unique” presentation and setup of the venue. In other words, a creative and unique stage is vital for the overall experience, and while every other show looks the same with different graphics and colours and is rather off-putting and disappointing, WrestleMania is supposed to be special and should stand out and considering WrestleMania XXXI (31) pulled this off, XXXII (32) should be no different.

So that’s about it for 2016, but what about 2017? 2018??! What about other countries?! Japan?!, France??, Germany?!, Chernobyl?????!!!!!, …What about “this”? What about “that”?!! What about…

(Explosion sound)

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Six (6) days later and after a head transplant.

Sorry about that old chap, that was my head exploding due to the sheer excitement of possibilities. I had to undergo a full head transplant and wait for my body to establish connection with my new brain. …Took a fair bit of time and several days without me tea, but it’s all jolly good now old chap!

(Record abruptly stopping sound) …hold on one (1) moment. …Something isn’t quite right…

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… A trip to the hospital later…  

Okay! So I have expressed quite a bit of my disillusioned, loony, and somewhat morbid mentality which goes to show to some extent, (lost my head, got a new head, spouted some nonsense like the British stereotype, and had to take a week’s absence from this post!) how blurred the lines between reality and fantasy has become for me, and how I would rather be in a world that is susceptible to people and obstacles in life vanishing for days on end as opposed to the reality we know it as. While that’s true, I am not THAT disillusioned that I should be fastened to a wall in an insane asylum to prevent me from wondering into a busy Heathrow Airport under the illusion that no one is there and there are no consequences.

The reality is that life is what you make of it, and it’s up to us as individuals to write and interact with the happenstances that occur to the best of our abilities in order to get by. But even with that established; what would be the kind of things people would like to do if they applied their imagination to a world that is entirely there’s alone for seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom? What would you (the reader) do if given the privilege?

Feeling that I must conclude this post before my head explodes again, or any more abrupt interruptions take place; it is crucial to remember that this is a piece of creative and imaginative fictional writing/typing, and therefore the contents of this post, the implied ideas, themes, and opinion of the author should not be taken overly seriously. I apologise if this post seems a bit on the long side, somewhat all over the place and has caused offense. For those who get the gist (and some of the insanity) of this post’s topic, then great! And for those who didn’t, don’t dwell on it too much as it isn’t supposed to be taken seriously. Do please feel free to comment and until next time, see ya!                           

Ambiguous forebodings – SJBMCPRS Diagnosis

Halloween is supposedly a time associated with all things scary, such as witches, monster movies and dentists (for those who consume too much sugary sweets and corrode their teeth). But whereas people can be terrified by other people who have dressed up as mummies after they have raided the Andrex factory in Flint (Flintshire, Wales) for its toilet paper, I cannot associate my uneasiness of people only during Halloween (although that doesn’t make it any easier as Halloween prompts people to act f***ing stupider and more reckless).

No …I have feelings of uncomfortableness, anxiety and darker and more horrible notions towards people in general all the time (and if you (the reader) have read the contents of previous posts on the SJBMCPRS Report, or have heard me personally express my perceptions (my condolences to those who alas fit that criteria); then this shouldn’t sound all that surprising).

Now sure, there can be genuine scares from such things like the seemingly annual horror movie releases that come around the month of October; but for all the “scariness” and “creativity”, the perception that these so-called works of fiction are the by-products of a person’s (or many peoples’) imagination(s), experiences and abilities implies that people can come up with such things. The reality is that all the monsters such as the Frankenstein Monster, Count Dracula, and the Wolf Man that belong to Universal (known as Universal Monsters) aren’t really monsters when in fact they are all the representations of the creator’s efforts (which makes them the “monsters” in a sense). Think about it; what kind of horrible things that are supposed to be informative, not real and entertaining on the big screen or in any form are beyond people's ability to replicate? The answer is nothing is completely out of the bounds of possibility because people can create and have created all manner of products and events, that can be deemed "awful".

Before getting carried away, I am well aware that the creators, authors and other people involved in the portrayal of horror movies and other forms of potentially foreboding products such as stories and the costumes for the Xenomorph aren’t actually “evil”, (which means its inaccurate to label Stephen King as an “evil b******” for the fiction he produces (but if people want to do so, then they can do so)).

Here’s the big BUT!!! (This is a hypothetical example, but one (1) that isn’t completely un-relatable.) For every 10,000 people who can watch something like a Saw film, or watch a program like Dexter, or play a “scary” and “violent” video game, or perform a ritual for an occult, or read about a ghastly happenstance in a fictional world in a storybook; there is the unfortunate possibility/chance that one (1) person (or more) can be “influenced” by these portrayals and go on to commit heinous actions or be completely consumed by some particular and come across as “possessed”. Again this was a hypothetical example, but I assure you (the reader) that alas there are true to life instances of such happenstances.

I’m not implying that things that can be defined as “horrible”, “addictive” and all the other words people who like to make a fuss use to try to ban something like cigarettes (and smoking in general) should be banned to prevent fatal incidents happening or “offensiveness” (here’s looking at you Anita Sarkeesian and Zoe Quin and countless others who can’t take the simple hint that if you find something you don’t like or agree with, then leave it be and move on to something that complies because the World is far from perfect and “bad” things happen!). The most defining reason I can deduce for why things aren’t outright banned or stopped is because there isn’t anything that is pure evil and is “poison” to society that isn’t being attended to or has been resolved. The Holocaust is such an unspeakable atrocity that forced people (who weren’t “influenced” or “forced” by Nazi Germany) to take action and although it cost countless people their lives, it was “resolved” along with the conclusion of the Second (2^nd) World War. America and allied countries did not ignore the calamities of 9/11 and took means to apprehend terrorists that were accountable. When there is a manufacturing defect in a line of manufactured cars from Toyota, Toyota are accountable for persecution and liabilities and therefore attempt to recall as many of their products containing the known defect to remove the potential problem and potential danger. And whereas the effectiveness of the Police and other services around the World are being forever questioned when atrocities like killing sprees, child neglect and abuse and preposterous actions such as “swatting” occur; the majority of the time something defined as “justice” and “resolution” is achieved (even though I (and possibly other people) question whether enough has been done to “resolve” incidents and “ensure” similar incidents don’t occur again).

Moving aside from the extreme cases mentioned above; my perception I am trying to get across is that nothing should be accountable for the atrocities that have been caused as well as present and future incidents because it is us (the people) that are the ones that are responsible and it is our influences that affect one (1) another and contribute to incidents when they happen. Yes, humanity is its own greatest threat, but then that’s nothing new. Therefore, it’s up to us (as people) to decide when we have crossed the line and whether we stop ourselves or continue regardless (because people can be absolute monsters). So for those who become engaged with anything that can lead to potential harm and trouble; it’s vital to understand the difference between reality and fantasy and the possible consequences of taking something too far. As for those who wish to dress up and have fun during Halloween; do remember everyone you meet has their limits and apprehensions which may be crossed, and should this occur it is important to stop or come to a compromise before a matter becomes too problematic.

…Because fear can be unique, it can be many, and certain things that may not affect one (1) person can terrify another. I cannot forget the night during Halloween when two (2) people dressed up traumatised by younger brother and caused him to go into an epileptic fit... Nor can I ignore my forebodings and general dislike for people; especially when its dark at night, the atmosphere is colder so you are naturally more tense, and there are people running amuck in outfits being bothersome and so infuriatingly unbearable. I’ll admit there have been several occasions during this time of the year where I felt my limits to my self-control shattering and I wanted to pulverise people who go too far.

So here’s a warning to everyone who reads this post: don’t even try your luck with me because I will have little tolerance for such activity that I deem as unbearable. After all, I do call myself the World’s nemesis for several reasons, and there is the possibility that my appearance and demeanour might be intimidating and scary even when I am not intending to be anything other than in control of myself (and if I come across as uneasy to be with when I am in control, it must be horrifying to imagine what I would be like when I’ve lost control).    

Self-control and preservation is crucial for me in order to function and behave “appropriately” in society as well as maintain the wellbeing for those around me. Limit Breaks are great to perform in Final Fantasy games, but not so good to try on me because it’s those limits that define when I am in control of myself and when I’m not going to hold back. The more I learn and understand myself, the more aware of the triggers that create anxiety, discomfort, fear and disdain within me. No matter how well I understand myself however; there are instances and notions that rattle me that are still ambiguous (hence the title of this post: “Ambiguous forebodings”).       

As with the countless experiences, interpretations, feelings, creations and possibilities people in general are associated with that can either be fictional or nonfiction, “Good”, “bad”, similar, different, definable or indescribable; the definition of ambiguous (ambiguity) can be applied to an infinite number of happenstances in life. Confused, and you haven’t gone to confused.com? As long as people are free to make their own interpretations; one (1) thing may have more than one (1) meaning. The term “swatting” for example is generally defined as hit/strike with a sharp blow, like for instance: “I swat a spider beside the kitchen window”. However; “swatting” is also a term for an appalling trend in which a person anonymously files a false police report, such as a murder or bomb threat, in hopes of provoking the police to raid an individual’s home, business or public place.

So with the term “ambiguous” defined; I can try to define some of the happenstances that trigger a particular sense of foreboding. By now it’s no secret I don’t like people in general and prefer to be by myself. Furthermore, I have a tendency to obey my gut feeling when something or someone makes me feel uneasy and uncomfortable and therefore choose to evade and not take risks (this nearly proves to be the best COA (Course of Action) because experiences that involved taking the risks caused trouble and problems later on).

When it comes to small groups of people or an individual; I am always apprehensive to join the party (NOT the type where there is food, music and people wrestling pet dogs, a party can also mean a group of people). It takes a long time to adjust, adapt and to open up due to my nature and experiences; but when this happens this leads to opportunities such as gaining friends, or a friend. I can say that I have friends, but I can also say that having friends has led to numerous instances where problems occur which create a lasting impression that makes it wise for me to keep my distance and evade situations that cause apprehension and may antagonise me. In one (1) such instance; I was asked to put my name down on a loan application which would mean I would be accountable to make the repayments along with the friend, I said “no” and that was that; a lasting impression that there would be more cons then pros with being associated with that person (this has also occurred with family members as well!). With past and present experiences; I am all too aware of the apprehension and foreboding I feel when I associate with these people and have grown paranoid whenever an email or text message pops up regarding finance or anything that I would relate with a past experience.

As a reserved pessimist who calls himself an abomination to life and humanity who doesn’t trust easily; I am guilty of judging people within the first few seconds of meeting someone. I am haunted by the lectures during the school years about how not to follow the judgement you make of a person after the first couple of seconds, however when I have to remember the times I have been bullied and attacked, my instinct is that if someone gives me a bad feeling; I subsequently attempt to evade that individual. It’s entirely possible that the person I don’t know and am evading due to my perception could be a very nice person and cause no harm, but if my perception picks up any distinguishable trait that I don’t feel comfortable with such as the roughness of the person’s complexion and appearance, I will evade and not interact with because those traits could lead to a justified feeling of dread.

Now call me a coward or a hypocrite if you want to, but when I come across or see a person or a bunch of people wearing jackets with their hoods up, or wears some form of hat/cap; I feel an immediate threat and will subsequently do my best to evade to prevent a potential situation. To me anyone who wears something as a means to conceal his/hers face spells trouble. Now I myself have worn jackets with hoods attached and a few times I have worn the hood over my head, however that is due to feeling the cold atmosphere against my face. For that reason, I can understand the need to wear a hood or cover the head in some way to stay warm or protect against the weather. It isn’t easy however for me to distinguish people dressed in this manner because a few years ago I was approached and somewhat boxed-in by three (3) people who hid their faces whilst I was making my way back home on Portland (Dorset). They wanted my valuables like my wallet, cards and mobile phone and it was blatantly clear they weren’t bluffing because one (1) of them revealed a concealed knife. And yet despite this threat and potential fatality that awaited me; I didn’t comply to their demands and just walked on, even though they stayed beside me until I pointed out the stupidity of what they were doing. This was during the early evening and there was a road, a school, playing fields, a church and several resident buildings close by which meant people could see I was being harassed and would see if I was struck and left bleeding on the pavement. Additionally, at this point, I have been bullied enough times and gotten used to being treated like the easy target, so I wasn’t going to be intimidated by their attempts. I got struck in the face and knocked down, which resulted in a couple of bruises and a fractured screen on my mobile phone, but they did not use the knife and scarpered without any of my valuables or belongings. Following this incident; I am untrustworthy of anyone who wears a hood or any hat/cap over their head because all I see is a potential case of Déjà vu.

The paragraphs above define some of the triggers and reasons for my forebodings that I am aware of. As mentioned previously in the post; there are going to be causes for dread that aren’t obvious to me (like possibly having a sense of reluctance when it comes to heights or certain animals), and it’s unlikely I’ll be willing to forgo my experiences and instincts to become something I’m not. There are also other notions of fear I have such as the fear of hurting another person close to me (no matter how much I strive to prevent such a disaster), that has been written/typed up on previous posts on the SJBMCPRS Report that are available to read upon (in case you (the reader) is interested). The reality is, is that I am a pessimist, and I stick to my perceptions and instincts like a pigeon stuffed into a sandwich toaster that has been glued shut, sealed by 25,000 rolls of sellotape, soldered onto the roof of Buckingham Palace, and weighed down by the total weight of every Ford F-Series pickup truck in the whole world!! Opps; I think I accidentally unveiled where Prince Charles can find the Christmas present I got for him!

So this is where I conclude this post. It may come across that I've repeated several perceptions from previous posts (and therefore I apologise for not being original), but the purpose of this post is to explain my perception on what is fearsome. Please remember that while there are serious contents and real life references contained in this post, it is not meant to offend. Do not try anything that has been implied in this post. Stay safe and well and have a great Halloween. Until next time, see ya!