Disclaimer: The
following post contains fictional elements and implies hypothetical scenarios
which have the same probability of being truthful as Julius Caesar being
reincarnated as a talking cucumber inside the ‘head’ of an octopus stuffed
inside a jar with a lid that has been reinforced with super glue and placed in
a walk-in freezer set to -24 degrees, brought on Ebay! In other words, this is
not to be taken overly seriously, and is purely imaginative. That said, there
are real elements mentioned as well which along with the fictional elements are
being used in this post to provide a descriptive perception of the author.
Imagine a
non-eventful day in existence where the realities of ‘life’ is evident, and
nothing is amiss. The wind breezes by, parallel with time in a world mixed with
notions of vexation and bliss. Thoughts of the countless variety dawn minute by
minute that range from the priorities at hand, to the spontaneous kind like
thinking of the Swiss. It may be deemed as mundane, but at least it’s not the
abyss.
(Record abruptly stopping sound) …Wait a
minute, did I just come up with a paragraph with poetic qualities? (The
anonymous audience reach an audible agreement that thinks there was rhythmical
composition.) …Well shiver my timbers and break my fingers! I guess I did,
though it wasn’t intentional.
…Ahem ...getting back to the fictional
prologue…
Then out of the
blue, “kimi he” from the Final Fantasy X-2 Vocal Collection: Yuna (from the
three (3) minute, thirty (30) seconds mark) plays on the mobile phone for
forty-nine (49) seconds while the mobile phone itself vibrates. Someone is
ringing my phone (and yes I do use “kimi
he” as a forty-nine (49) second ringtone for my mobile phone). I look at
the number calling, and it reads: 01305 4522912 (this is a fictional phone number and therefore not intended to be
called in real life, though I apologise should this number be actually legit
and caused unintentional inconvenience). I answer it…
Me: “Hello?”
Caller: “Seven (7)
days!”
Me: “Seven (7)
days…? Oh my chipmunks! I’m going to die next Monday?!”
Caller: “Yes...”
Me: “…!”
Caller: “No, wait.
You needed to watch a videotape first for that. This is an offer for “no
consequence” freedom for seven (7) days for every year from now.”
Me: “So seven (7)
days to this very hour… My watch broke when I ran over Michael Bay and David
Cameron with the tractor when I came in, how am I going to know the exact
hour?”
Caller: “Forget
hours. This day, seven (7) days from now.”
Me: “So I am
getting seven (7) days from this very moment of “no consequence” freedom, and
the same amount of days every year subsequently…?”
Now there are
numerous points to this very hypothetical and fictional happenstance to
address, such as the reference/parody of the films: ‘The Ring’ from 2002, and
‘Scary Movie 3’ from 2003. In case you (the reader) are wondering; I do not
have a tractor, therefore I couldn’t have run over Michael Bay and David
Cameron…which is a tragedy because there are people out there that would like
that to happen, and I would prefer having less inaccurate and OTT (over the
top) films such as ‘Pearl Harbour’ and yet another ‘Transformers’ film, as well
as one (1) less politician making mess of the world (That said, I am not condemning those who do not like the implication
of the execution of both Michael Bay and David Cameron, or those who agree with
the productions and views of these people, it is simply my opinion).
Now for those who
can decipher the implied number mentioned above; you may question the
legitimacy of a caller whose number is 01305 DEVIL. For those knowing the
numbered sequence of the alphabet; D is the fourth (4th) letter in
the alphabet, hence D=4. E is the fifth (5th) letter in the
alphabet, hence E=5, V=22, I=9, and L=12. Supposing the caller isn’t a
prankster, and it actually happens to be the devil (or a devil) calling me and
offering this opportunity, it would be wise to be sceptical given the countless
perceptions that label the devil (or devils) as evil and associated with Hell
and so on. Therefore, I will list the terms and conditions below:
1.
In the
period of the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom; the individual will
be completely alone on Earth, and no other people or creatures will be present
throughout the duration.
2.
There
will be no form of observation such as CCTV for the duration of event upon
initialisation.
3.
The
individual cannot call anyone or invite anyone during the event.
4.
There
are no consequences for anything or any action during the seven (7) days upon
initialisation.
5.
All
roads will be cleared of traffic during event.
6.
After
the seven (7) days are up/over; the individual returns to the Earth’s previous
state with people and happenstances as well as consequences returning and
proceeding with ‘life’ as if unaltered.
7.
The
individual may not be allowed to record or in any way capture footage during
the event.
8.
Actions
that may take place during the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom, will
have real life affects once the period is over. Therefore, it would be advised
to prevent committing actions that may be deemed illegal and may be traced back
to you once the event concludes.
9.
After
the first (1st) seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom is
fulfilled, the individual may choose when to initiate the event in the follow
years.
10.
Informing
or sharing experiences of said event with other people is prohibited at all
times.
11.
Forgoing
the terms and conditions of the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom will
cause immediate cancellation of event and ban the individual from the privilege
for life.
Reading and
understanding the terms and conditions of this happenstance; would you (the
reader) agree and proceed with this scheme, or would you decline the offer
altogether and go about ‘life’ as it is? For those who wouldn’t take up the
offer; I can perceive the reasons why because there are numerous, and part of
me would believe that this is a hoax and too out of blue to comprehend and
unrealistic having gone from living the way I do, to suddenly have the
opportunity to disconnect from the numerous attributes that I don’t agree with.
With that said however, I would accept this opportunity to disconnect from the
majority of the world’s annoyances and barriers.
Why? The reason I
would commit to an opportunity like this (which is sadly about as real as a
human being transforming into a dinosaur-like monstrosity transforming back to
human form to then transform into a ginormous insect-like monstrosity all
because of some kind of injected virus (‘Resident Evil 6’ reference)) is
because while I am capable of tolerating the many annoyances I encounter to
achieve something like walking a far bit or purchasing my typical weekly shopping
in a supermarket where people and trollies generally get in the way, I’d be
lying if I said there are attributes associated with these activities that
don’t unease me.
I would very much
like to walk far further than I’ve ever done before to reach places like
Southampton or London, the problem however is that while it is possible to do,
I know of only one (1) route to do so and that’s via the A352 and A31 (and
subsequent linking roads) which have easy enough to read road signs of which
I’ve seen enough times during car journeys to recognise; but has constant
traffic and is considered perilous and prohibited. While I am okay with reading
instructions that evade the main roads and is deemed “safer”; I would generally
get lost in unfamiliar and more challenging terrain such as the New Forest
National Park, whereas with the main roads it is more straightforward. Plus,
there are people like family that would worry and would in some way get
involved whether it be unintentionally due to the Police being called in to
tell me I cannot do this and “health and safety reasons” blah, blah, blah!
There are things
such as going to the gym or going swimming that I would love to do at my own
pace, but always I feel overwhelmingly demoralised and pressured by the
presence of other people in the same environment to do in life. Call me a 6”0’
panicky lump of chickens***, but seriously people in general and even their
mere presence is a problem for me. I am the type of being that doesn’t need (or
want) to be social. If one (1) day the whole world suddenly became ‘The Walking
Dead’ for real, and everyone else was a walking corpse; I would be more
comfortable in a world gone to s***! As mentioned in a previous post entitled:
‘Aspiring for the insurmountable’. If I were entrapped in the hellish nexus
known as Heavenly Host Elementary for the rest of time, I would at least feel
more content reliving my death forevermore then trying to ‘co-exist’ in the
living world that terrifies and alienates me than anything else.
Now as with the disclaimer
at the top of this post; I must stress that this is purely fantasy and has the
same chance of becoming a reality as a Chrysler PT Cruiser Cabriolet and a SsangYong
Rodius (first (1st) generation) coming together to perform a ‘Mortal
Kombat’ style fatality on Tommy Wiseau by sneezing out all the elephants shown
in the “Pink Elephants on Parade” segment in ‘Dumbo’ and combining them to make
a consumable pill that dissolves in Wiseau’s stomach to reveal a life-size pillar
box stuffed with hydrofluoric acid!! …A little OTT (over the top) perhaps, but
the point is clear; the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom event is
unlikely to become a reality because it is total bulls***.
For the sake of
this post however, let’s ignore the reality vs fantasy aspect and think what
would you do with the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom privilege? For
me I would happily start walking to Southampton along the empty and clear
motorway roads at my own pace without any concern and sentimentalise the
baffling state of having fifty (50) plus miles of large empty roads all to
myself while appreciating the over eighteen (18) hour journey is helping me
lose weight. Then at Southampton, I can go on a shopping spree like no other and
hunt for the attire I’ve longed for since 2002; a long black all weather coat,
black formal trousers, a white formal shirt and blue tie, sunglasses, and
yellow all-purpose gloves that aren’t marigold gloves (sounds bizarre I know
but I’ve always felt the need to come across as imposing yet different so no
one would impose my path). …And if I can’t find the things I’m looking for in
Southampton; I could always obtain a car (like a BMW Z4 (E89) free for me to
take and head for London or any part of the United Kingdom I choose to explore.
Aside from going
grand theft auto (which I would ensure wouldn’t be deemed illegal after the
seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom is over because I would make it look
like I paid for everything with proofs and receipts even though I didn’t pay
anything!); there are several interests I would like to follow through with,
such as being free to attend a gym and swimming pool, and do as much as I want,
when I want without the presence of anyone intruding.
Having visited the
RAF Museum Cosford in Shropshire earlier in the year (2015) and laid my eyes on
the de Havilland Comet 1 G-APAS (and among other things), I would enjoy the
opportunity to freely explore and stare at the displays for as long as I want
without the obstruction or noise of other people. I may even try to take a look
inside the fuselage of the de Havilland Comet purely because there are few
early generation Comets that are complete, and it would be interesting to see
the contrast and difference between the Comet 1 and a modern jumbo jet such as
an Airbus A380.
While on the
subject of aeroplanes, one (1) place I would absolutely love to explore freely
with no repercussions is Heathrow Airport. Why you might ask? My reasons for
exploring Heathrow Airport when there’s no one around and nothing happening
during this duration of the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom is to
allow myself to deconstruct from the hassle and uneasiness of being a waiting
passenger along with my family over eleven (11) years ago, and see the airport
for what it is when there’s no hassle and no restrictions to where I may go. I
would enjoy the presence of such aircraft like an Airbus A380 as I would stand
in front of the colossal machines, and then explore further inside the fuselage
and innards of a modern aircraft and be in awe of the magnitude inside and out.
Additionally, I would like to gaze upon the Concorde; the second (2nd)
supersonic passenger jet airliner (the first (1st) being the Tupolev
Tu-144). Just to clarify; I wouldn’t attempt to fly or interact with anything
with any of the aircraft or within Heathrow Airport because it wouldn’t be my
intention.
With the time
remaining in the seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom privilege, I would
attempt to maximise on how far and how much I walk, as well as take in the
quietness and equanimity of my surroundings as nothing other than myself wonder
peacefully until the privilege ends and the world and life goes back to its
processes as if nothing happened.
…That is until the
first (1st) week of April 2016! This is where I would choose to have
my seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom for 2016, and I would ensure that
I would be in America to relish on the offerings of one of the largest
countries in the world. To start of I would like to experience the high
humidity during a long trek across states like Miami, Florida. Similar to the
seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom of 2015, I would acquire a car (the
Lexus LFA would be nice) to help me get to the numerous destinations I would
like to explore.
One (1) of the
destinations is the Six Flags New Orleans theme park, which is an abandoned
amusement park that closed in August 21st, 2005 in the wake of
Hurricane Katrina. Ten (10) years have passed since the devastation of
Hurricane Katrina, yet still the disrepair of Six Flags New Orleans is evident
and it has been left in its state of ruin due to sheer enormity and prohibitive
cost of rebuilding or replacing the site would be financially damming. To stand
in the midst of the ruins in silence, to gaze from one (1) end to another, and
to visualise the site and compare the first (1st) hand impression to
the pictures available on the internet would be chilling, but also fulfilling.
There is another
destination of harrowing significance that I would wish to explore, and that is
the stored wreckage and reconstructed frame of TWA Flight 800, in Loudoun
County, Virginia. On July 17th, 1996; a Boeing 747-131 suffered an
explosion and crashed over the Moriches Inlet killing all 230 passengers and
crew. It is considered one (1) of the deadliest aviation accidents in U.S
territory, and while the TWA Flight 800 International Memorial in Smith Point
County Park in Shirley, New York is equally important to visit and pay respects
to, it is the wreckage of the aircraft that would imply the most chilling
insight as it purposely stored for training purposes. To stare at the wreckage
and use the imagination to picture the rest of the aircraft inside and out from
the moment it was stationary at John F. Kennedy International Airport, to the
point of disaster at many thousands of feet…would be insightfully soul crushing
to say the least.
Come April third
(3rd) of 2016, the WWE will host the thirty-second (32nd)
annual WrestleMania event at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas. As a fan, it
would sound pretty reasonable to assume that I would adore the chance to watch
a WWE event in person. And yet the idea of doing so absolutely repulses me due
to the immense number of people that would be present and the deafening noise
of the attending audience. For the actual event, I will watch it on the WWE
Network, but in a fantasy setting where I can sit by myself in the stadium all
setup for the event and explore freely and experience the visual style, sounds
and presentation of the stage of itself from any seat and angle, is something
so intriguing that I would want to be there for an entire day taking in the
unspoilt impression. It may sound weird but while I enjoy the wrestling, the
plots behind the drama and stories and antics that goes on in the WWE, what
sets me up for an event like WrestleMania is the “unique” presentation and
setup of the venue. In other words, a creative and unique stage is vital for the
overall experience, and while every other show looks the same with different
graphics and colours and is rather off-putting and disappointing, WrestleMania
is supposed to be special and should stand out and considering WrestleMania
XXXI (31) pulled this off, XXXII (32) should be no different.
So that’s about it
for 2016, but what about 2017? 2018??! What about other countries?! Japan?!,
France??, Germany?!, Chernobyl?????!!!!!, …What about “this”? What about “that”?!!
What about…
(Explosion sound)
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Six (6) days later and after a head transplant.
Sorry about that old chap, that was my head
exploding due to the sheer excitement of possibilities. I had to undergo a full
head transplant and wait for my body to establish connection with my new brain.
…Took a fair bit of time and several days without me tea, but it’s all jolly
good now old chap!
(Record abruptly stopping sound) …hold on
one (1) moment. …Something isn’t quite right…
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
A trip to the hospital later…
Okay! So I have
expressed quite a bit of my disillusioned, loony, and somewhat morbid mentality
which goes to show to some extent, (lost my head, got a new head, spouted some
nonsense like the British stereotype, and had to take a week’s absence from
this post!) how blurred the lines between reality and fantasy has become for
me, and how I would rather be in a world that is susceptible to people and
obstacles in life vanishing for days on end as opposed to the reality we know
it as. While that’s true, I am not THAT disillusioned that I should be fastened
to a wall in an insane asylum to prevent me from wondering into a busy Heathrow
Airport under the illusion that no one is there and there are no consequences.
The reality is that
life is what you make of it, and it’s up to us as individuals to write and
interact with the happenstances that occur to the best of our abilities in
order to get by. But even with that established; what would be the kind of
things people would like to do if they applied their imagination to a world
that is entirely there’s alone for seven (7) days of “no consequence” freedom?
What would you (the reader) do if given the privilege?
Feeling
that I must conclude this post before my head explodes again, or any more
abrupt interruptions take place; it is crucial to remember that this is a piece
of creative and imaginative fictional writing/typing, and therefore the
contents of this post, the implied ideas, themes, and opinion of the author
should not be taken overly seriously. I apologise if this post seems a bit on
the long side, somewhat all over the place and has caused offense. For those
who get the gist (and some of the insanity) of this post’s topic, then great! And
for those who didn’t, don’t dwell on it too much as it isn’t supposed to be
taken seriously. Do please feel free to comment and until next time, see ya!
